Friday, January 2, 2015

Being greedy, in love

Love of two men , I am destined to have,
one bethroted to me first, love came soon after,
Other came in winter, to warm up this ailing heart.

The strong and supportive one has an umbrella upon me,
feet firm on the ground,  an unshakeable pole to hold on ever.
Life could just go on without any hurdle, smooth and forever.

It would be untruth to say, that life had no sharp turns,
but with time ,the bends became more easier and farther.
we learnt a lesson with everyday ,to apply medicine to our burns.

The love ,which came with the children, was pure
with no feeling of insecurity, only sacrifice,
the brightest face of love, am sure

The cool breeze of the other , touched my inner soul,
brought out the forgotten child, teen and youth ,
nourised the heart and helped it to bloom.

This new love showed me, how a heart could be expanded,
with a new lease of affection, it made my mind dizzy,
the love hidden, like a apple stolen, gave utmost pleasure.

This new world created, without taking away anything ,
from the one existing, spoke poetry , taught patience,
prepared me to face life with more confidence

I feel like a river, flowing downhill, with a ferocity that has no stops,
affection in me flows the same way for both of them,
both need me and I need both.

You can say, I am greedy , but in matters of heart , more is merry.
All I want is , to retain , both the gifts.
Are we not living in earth and enjoying the sky?
Does not a river have two banks which never meet?

Enhancer

I don’t know how I found you,
The light in my heart, held the torch for you,
The rare gem,  rarest of all, bright and shining,
You stand out , shadowing rest all.

You have spoken words, brutal and honest,
Loved the use of your expressions and exasperations,
Stressed over the sentences, sighed over the phrases,
Held tears in my eyes,  mostly of joy, few of sadness.

Lengthy praises, are a novice,
Nascent writer in me, sprang out with joy and pride,
Wanted to look at the world, gloating in its kalopsia,
I had to scowl at it, it calmed down, but not without a fight.

My logical head, was trying hard too,
Fighting a losing battle to pride and emotions,
Caved way to your relentless pursuit,
Am a slave of words, how come you knew?

What are you to me?
Friend? Follower?  Feminine enhancer?
fantasy? Fanatic? Fancier?
Devotee?  or just another feeling?

 I am that dope,
That’s addicted to the junkie.
I am that parasite, hanging on to you,
That needs to be fed, all the time, with praise.

Rare gems these are for me,
I will adore my naked soul with these,
I will wear it with pride and without caution,
For they fit no one but me.
I am your addict.

emotional retards

To each his own,
Emotions are always galore,
That unruly dog needs a leash, nothing more;
Some eat all the forbidden stuff;
Some paint to their hearts content;
While some read all that they can find;
Others find their solace in their soft beds, in the day time.
Shopping makes some happy and stable, 
Purses light and partners in distress.
Some watch movies for hours, eyes puffed up, but not yet ready to cry
Some meditiate, pray or even stay quiet for long hours
Whatever we do to keep the dog under leash
All it needs is a little love and discipline.
Some attention and some pecks.
But remember, dear, the leash does none of those.
Whatever is your leash, its your own poison and not a poultice

I miss myself

Wonder what i got, in the four decades of my life;
 collecting different things each time, was I ever full?
first ,was spent in the arms of love, only two instead of four
the second was spent in the years of teen, just  a cocoon
the third was highly spirited, most productive,highly rewarding,
so I thought, till i came to fourth and realised;
whatever gained in the past, aint for the future;
A burden to carry; I should unload, if I care;

Wonder what i got, life still left for, maybe minutes,hours,days or years;
now i feel light and ready to fly;
Do I have the same person inside me?
the one that did all the mistakes,

I really miss me.

let my heart lead the way

In a world full of kickshaws, and gimcracks, I see a true light of kindness,
Let my heart lead the way, lead the way , lead away from stray.
All the glitter and glamour, means nothing, the path of pebbles promises everything,
As the heart keeps pacing, with stars shining, only I can see, I can feel
Let my heart lead the way, lead the way, lead away from stray.
Am moving away from comforts of home, warm fire,
Searching ambers in the cold, living life of a beggar,
Treading on sharp stones, bleeding feet take me yonder.
I turn to see , paradise left behind, smiles of acceptance, familiar scent of the land,
Shades of trees, laughter of the friends, kisses of the lover, life of a queen. Still, I
Let my heart lead the way, lead the way, lead away from stray.
It was just a thought, maybe I am wrong, just a glimpse, maybe I am a squint,
It was just a moment, maybe I am delusional, it was just a touch, maybe now its lost,
Maybe just a chime, but I heard the bells, I felt the coming wind ,
Felt the touch of cool air on my face, that smile I remember, that moment , ethereal.
All I have left behind seems like trinkets, I am in search of a gold mountain.
The fraternity , where I am the core, The heart, where I am the beat,
The fire where I am the water, the wind where I am the song.
The love without the faults , the touch that kindles the soul.
The smile that never changes, the acceptance of my darkness.
The nights so peaceful, that days did not matter.

Have you ever tried, to let your heart lead the way, lead the way, lead astray?

vent

i wish i had a canvas to paint,
my thoughts are so crazy,
maybe it would become a perfect picture
but i cannot express my feelings as they
die away before they reach the shore;
into the sea with no coast.

I cannot sing a song or play a tool
cannot build anything or destroy;
nothing to show the world how i feel;
only way i know is to hold them still
till they disappear, never to appear again

I cannot even share a view or a phrase
it causes reactions, circle again made;
best is to keep mum, and thoughts are meant to evaporate
under test of fire, water does the same.

my laughter is for others, silence left inside me
cannot overturn and clean myself, 
thoughts fall undisturbed. 
the battle of life is within oneself, so they say

but who wants the wars, i just want peace

a lot goes into making a woman

 

Tall, short, fair,dark, fat and thin
dusky or wheat complexion;
a lot goes into making a woman.

She is a daughter, tries to be on the top of her class
gets her parents' praises; never caught in the wrong 
Then she goes to college; is there anyting she doesn't do?
Parents are so proud of her; praises are nothing new.

Then comes the best part, falling in love 
gates to the heart when open, what happens to the mind part;
mind feels heart is weak; mind advises against the deed
Still she goes ahead, as she has read somewhere, care for the heart.

Marriage is totally new game; love is only the cream
when she digs down she finds faults; with one and all
Now the mind laughs; Did I not warn you earlier sweet heart;
Do as I tell you; mind takes over the heart.

Love is left far behind; even the trace is lost
only thing that remains, is the warrior at heart;
battles are fought, wars are lost; arguments are used
only the memory is enhanced.




Life is a bitter struggle for her
No friends or enemies live near
she wants to be left alone for ever
Thinks, that will solve problems for her.

Such women, who forget love, what do they do?
They cry bitterly over past errors; I feel though
wife to some one they can never be;
All they need is another woman, a wife maybe.

Don't get me wrong; Don't wonder I don't belong;
There are other women, who are born,
who excel in nothing at all; but they do no wrong 
sometimes they too have good times; mostly they just pass along.

They too fall in love, their minds too send them warnings
They too listened to their heart and go ahead in their journeys
Marriage for them nothing different; they are wise ;
as they dont expect; they make their walls, homes.

They keep family together; they don't want any enemy within
As they work in their workshops, insults as tools and intellect as waste
they hone their minds, sculpt their heart; 
pains taken to get a beautiful art.

when I wondered where i belong?
I was thinking how I had evolved
Is it the fault of the woman; who was left undone?
Is it the fortune of the one; who adores the walls.

A lot of events applies to one and all,
A lot of strokes hits us along,
The fury of the events are for all
Sun and breeze do not distinguish at all.

Some trees grow and bear beautiful flowers
Others wither when young:
Some spread fragrance within our heart.
Some only become fences of thorns.

Don't get me wrong; I am a feminist too
Sufferings of a woman, should never be condoned;
But when misery is thrown around, by a few;

stop the plague, kill the disease, as it will definitely spread around.